End the trend and share the load

Few weeks back I was invited to Anirudh's place for lunch on Sankranti. This is an important festival for them and since we were dating for a long time, his family had unofficially considered me part of their family. Every time I go to his house, I observe something weird. Now please do not get me wrong. Anirudh is a very nice guy. He has been very supportive and caring of me and my life choices. But his family has a very narrow minded views towards several things. Even in this generation, they observed gender inequality and some work were reserved to be done by guys and some work has to be done by the women of the house.

Now I have been brought in a very different way. I have always been taught to question things which do not convince me. But in their house if I begin questioning about blind beliefs and the purpose behind doing it, it is considered rude. It is considered arrogant. My parents had given me enough freedom and independence. But here his parents had too many restrictions on the dress, on timings, on topics to speak and the list goes on.

My parents had warned me before about his family. I really felt that our relationship was very strong than these petty things. But on the day of Sankranti what I observed really irritated me. They started seeing alliances for his elder brother Avinash. And what sort of a girl were they expecting - Post graduate, expert in cooking, skilled in taking care of house, ready to stay at home after wedding. Seriously why would someone want to stay at home after doing a post graduation. I began questioning them about their expectations. But they asked me remain silent. 

In their family, the sole purpose of the women of the house is to give birth to baby, be a housewife and take care of the house. Their mom has the done the same things and they expect their daughter-in-laws to also do the same thing. Does this make any sense in today's generation? I ask his mother and she asks me to follow the rules 

Though I shut my mouth, I could not shut my thoughts. When Avinash can be a graduate and work, why couldn't his wife do that? Why do they want a highly educated girl to waste her education by sitting at home after wedding? What exactly do you mean by skilled in taking care of house? Is this not your house too? Why cannot you make some contributions anywhere? Women are at par with men everywhere these days. Still you follow the trends of the 19th century and follow gender prejudices. What sort of an example are you setting for your family? What will your kids learn from you if you follow these illogical trends. If we women need our son and future daughter-in-law to thank us then teach the men to end the trend and share their load to embrace household duties however boring or uninteresting they are. 

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

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